Broke, Busted and Disgusted

I’ve had my share of “What was I thinking” moments in life. I’m sure we all can recall a time or two or three in which the brain wasn’t firing on all cylinders. Each moment can be defined as a pivotal moment in our lives. I must say of my 50 years of living there are two “What was I thinking” moments that stand out among all the crazy things I’ve done.

This time in my life is defined as my “Broke” moment.

In 1986 I was young and confident of my abilities. So much so I decided to leave my full-time job to pursue a 100% commission venture selling life insurance. The key to being successful in that line of work is to build a team in which you receive overrides off the business your team generates.

Long story short, I didn’t have a team. It was little old me and a ton of dreams with no plan of obtaining them. I was living in an apartment, had a car and motivation to succeed. However, what I didn’t have was a team or a plan. Within three months I was flat broke and my car was repossessed. Losing those items was bad, but the one thing that hurt the most was moving back into my parent’s home.

I felt worthless, stupid and less than a man. Deep depression followed as I curled up in a corner licking my wounds of self-pity. Eventually, I regained my footing and mode of transportation as I landed a job with UPS and the Holiday Inn Hotel.

This time in my life is defined as my “Busted and Disgusted” moment

In 2002 I left EarthLink for a job with All-Connect. The pay was much less and the management staff was very unprofessional. I didn’t like the way management talked to and treated employees; so when it was time for lunch, yours truly decided to take lunch and not come back.

Before heading home to my wife, I hung out at DeKalb Airport to think for bit. When I came to my senses, I sat in disbelief asking myself, “What were you thinking?” I realized it was time to go home to my wife and 1-year-old son to break the news that dad quit his job today. I realized this wasn’t a mid-life crisis;  it was a moment of repeated self-fish behavior.

After breaking the news to my wife, I understood my actions placed the responsibilities of the household on my wife. It was time to grow up and become the man God intended for me to be. However, my actions would be disciplined by the greatest disciplinary, none other than God Almighty.

I looked for a job for what seemed to be months before landing a job at the Omni Hotel were I previously worked on three occasions. God had his finger on my forehead so forcefully, that I prayed the “God if you get me out of this, I will….” I was willing to do whatever it took to make things right even if meant taking a minimum wage job, which is what I ended up doing.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

  • Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
  • Ecclesiastes 7:18 whoever fears God will avoid all extremes.
  • Proverbs 20: Plans are established by seeking advice; so if you wage war, obtain guidance.
  • Proverbs 3:5-7 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.
  • Proverbs 3:12 My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.
  • Proverbs 14:29 whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.
  • James 1:19,20 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

After all the self-imposed headaches of foolish decisions, God tutored me through every senseless decision and depressing moment. Truly when God said in Deuteronomy 31:6 “for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you,” He is true to His word. Honor God today by holding fast to His word and avoiding all extremes, your life will be all the better for it.

** If anyone would like a special prayer request (Ephesians 6:18) please feel free to email me at (your privacy will be respected and honored); I would love to pray for you. I also ask that you think of others whom you can share this message with as well.


3 thoughts on “Broke, Busted and Disgusted

  1. I’m glad I found your blog. I like its honesty and vulnerability, its organization with bolded, clever subtitles and bulleted learnings that make it easy to follow, and its over-all philosophy. I’m glad I found it, and I’ll be back.


  2. I can relate having made several bad choices myself. God is always faithful and never leaves us. The hardest part was realizing how much my bad choices affected my loved ones. Thankfully, they too stuck around.


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