Can we talk Wednesday?

QUESTION: Why do we stay in unhealthy relationships when everything in us is saying get out now?

SCRIPTURE REFERENCE: Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart-sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

MY ANSWER: I do not believe the reason we stay in unhealthy relationships can be attributed to one answer. However, for this segment I will say it’s because of “Hope.” We hold out hope that one day things will change. Or perhaps things at one point were better and we are holding out hope that they will be better once more. Now, that’s my 2 cents; I want to hear what you think on this segment of “Can we talk Wednesday.”

The purpose of “Can we talk Wednesday” is to encourage healthy discussions about a range of topics. I ask that we respect the opinions of others by honoring your brother or sister in Christ with the fruits of the spirit as taught in Galatians 5:22-23. Now, “Can we talk Wednesday?”

**Please click “Can we talk Wednesday”  to view all archived videos of each “Can we talk Wednesday” segment.

**If you are in need of prayer (Ephesians 6:18), please click “Prayer Request.” I would love to pray for you.

2 thoughts on “Can we talk Wednesday?

  1. I stayed with my abuser out of fear. Many women in domestic violence situations wind up dead if they try to leave their abuser. Orders of Protection are not worth the paper they’re written on. To look back on my situation all I can say is that the man exerted some type of Svengali influence on me plus the fact that after 7 years together I still wanted the relationship to work and I held out hope that he would change. Of course he did not but even though I cringed when he put his key in the door. I did not know how to get him out. I was so ashamed I did not even tell my family what was going on. I just prayed and on Thanksgiving Nov. 2007 he left. Found another woman. Men like that are sociopaths. They manipulate. After a while you become so beaten down that you feel worthless. Like nothing. A nobody. It was a very long time before some type of healing manifested itself. During this time I have been on all types of anti-depressants, therapy, suicide attempts and last year I was committed to the psych ward for two weeks. Abuse leaves an imprint on your life that does not go away. To this day I still have triggers in dealing with men. Usually I don’t like to be touched. I had to stop going to church because I don’t like strange men or people hugging me or greeting other people. I also suffered sexual abuse from a preacher/minister as a teen so church has not always been a sanctuary for me. Certain situations and people are triggers for me. Since I work as a museum security officer I have to suppress these feelings but trust me I’ll be glad to retire in summer 2018 as I don’t crave human interaction like other people. But that’s my story.


    • My mom was who was married to my dad for 7 years was abused by my dad verbally and physically. I grew up as a kid witnessing this behavior first hand. Often times being the oldest I was put right in the middle of a fight trying to break it up. I knew from a young age that I was not going to follow the path of my parents, but would make a path laid with respect, love and a strong commitment to marriage. I thank God for being the center of our marriage for 16+ years. My wife and I met in church and have remained there ever since. Thank you Deborah for sharing your story which took courage to do so. For you my amazing sister in Christ I pray for the type healing that only God can do. The type healing that comforts even the unseen places of pain. God is able and willing because He loves His children. Once again Deborah, thank you for commenting and sharing!

      Liked by 1 person

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